| - amazing (i need to buy this CD!!!) Tonight, driving home with Dad from my aunt's, we were listening and singing our brains out to the Indigo girls and it was awesome, but when Power of Two came on, it had me thinking about Mike...I sang him that song once and he cried and told me he loved me for the first time....:tear: I miss Mike so much it's not even funny. It's been so damned long! it seems unreal.
(amazing by blue october)
how am i supposed to breath?
i try to relax, i touch your still frame
so i can watch you closer and study the ways i believe i belong to you
to you...
so i scratch at your waistline, your dull hair
i dig up the thought of how your eyes glowed
so i make you my religion, my collision, my escape course
so have i found your secret weak spot baby
can you pretend I'm amazing?
I can pretend i'm amazing
instead of what we both know
cut to the punchline baby
can't we pretend I'm amazing?
instead of what we both know
and now our history is for sale
and for that i apologize
you see you're my only now
the study of when i believed i belonged to you
to you...
you see i've made you into something more delicious, my sweet ghost
so have i found your secret weak spot, baby?
can you pretend i'm amazing?
i can pretend i'm amazing?
instead of what we both know
cut to the punchline, baby
can we pretend i'm amazing?
instead of what we both know.
(let me hold you, i'm sorry...there it goes...back over there...)
That song just breaks my heart when i think of it...it makes me think of mike so much and i miss him so much...
There's alot of people I miss..the other one was adrian.
What sucks, most, about his suicide is that i honestly was going to explain everything to him. I had even sent him a letter (! I'm usually not one for snail-mail, but it seemed appropriate..though it really wasn't. it didnt' get there in time)...yeah, I should have used e-mail, but i didn't. and this sounds so stupid, but it fit so well...i sent him like, four written pages, and then a last one that had the lyrics to 98°'s The Hardest Thing. I know that sounds so dumb, but they fit so well the situation...
i mean it's my fault...it all is, and i've finally come to terms with that fact, but if he would have just gotten the damned note...but oh well.
I have no idea, once again, why on EARTH i would put this in public view. probably because, like, no body reads this pile o' boullucks...or however you decide to spell it. you probably don't even know what it means!!!!
Talked to Mr. Perfect earlier today. Told him that I couldn't deal with seeing him again romantically, but we could be friends if he would like. He said friends is fine. See? PERFECT! Am I a glutton for punishment or what?
I'll regret this someday.
As for now, I'm just annoyed by a runny nose, depressed from a pile of memories, and elated from talking to the girl of my dreams.
that's right, homophobs! I'm BISEXUAL!!!! AHAHA! Whatcha gunna do about it, bitch?
yeah, that's what i thought. bitch.
bitch.
"step 3, with 'bitch' drop the 't' because bich is latin for generosity!"
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